I met Steven when Big D was barely two years old.
Big D was about four years old when Steven and I started "seriously dating". She was about four and half years old when we became engaged.
A few months before Steven and I were married, we decided that it would be in the best interest of both, Big D and Middle d, they should not have any more contact with their biological father. It wasn't an easy decision. Her biological father was a man that she thought highly of. Even though he only came around once every month or two, she loved him very much and looked up to him. She listened to him and his opinion mattered to her. It was probably because he was very manipulative and controlling, but that is a whole other story, and isn't for today.
I dreamed of a magical father/daughter relationship for the two of them. But I was also very realistic and realized that her life was about to change drastically and that she might stray away from Steven and even start to resent him based on the decisions that we made. We were never dishonest with her, we told her why she wouldn't be seeing or talking to him anymore. We tried our best to make sure that her nearly five year old little mind understood what was going on.
I'll admit, things were a little strange the first six months or so of our marriage/Big D's new life. She had a hard time adjusting to the new life of having Mommy AND Daddy there all of the time. Every time Steven tried taking her places or doing things with her, she would compare him to her "old daddy". That was really hard on Steven but he took it one day at a time and listened to all of her little stories and comparisons of "old daddy vs new daddy". He sometimes had to take it one day at a time, one story at a time, but he was patient and kind and caring.
Over time, her little comparisons faded and she didn't focus on the past so much any more. They began to develop a father/daughter relationship. A strong relationship. A relationship that they deserve. I think the reason they have the relationship they have is because we have always been honest. Honest about everything that goes on. We hide no secrets about the past from her. If she has questions, we answer them truthfully. He loves her unconditionally, just like a Daddy should. He never gave up, even on days when "old daddy" did everything so much better. He. Never. Gave. Up....
And just look at them today! Sometimes, I am just happily jealous of him and how he can make her laugh, or embarrass her to the point where she stamps her little foot and says "DAAADDDY!" Or when they're cuddled up on the couch reading "The Chronicles of Narnia" and he impersonates the different characters voices and sends her into a mad slew of giggles. Or when like today, he sat up on the top bunk bed with her and played super mario brothers with her for over two hours. Or when they study the bible together and he asks her questions and makes her feel like the smartest eight and a half year old on the planet!
It was a dream. It all started with a dream, and now I'm living it! They're living it, and I am in love with it! I hope and pray that this relationship continue to grow and blossom as it has! I am so blessed to have the two of them in my life!
Happy Saturday, Everyone!!!