Since going to Disney World is a rare once in a life time treat for our family, I decided to elaborate a little bit and take Big D and myself to get our nails did.
I went with a normal plain ole boring french manicure while Big D chose a happier more Florida-ee color...
Nope, not the one she's holding in the picture. Look closer...See that extremely bright neon orange?! Yup that's what she chose. Very appropriate if you ask me. I'm kind of sad I didn't choose it now.
It's always nice to squeeze some one on one time with my big baby girl. She's getting so big so fast! It's hard to keep up. I was looking through some pictures I took the other day saw a child I didn't recognize. After examining the photo a little more, I was shocked to realize that it was Big D! It scared me! Even though it was only a split second that I didn't recognize her, it was there! It happened! When did she get so tall?! When did her face change? Was it overnight!? It sure does feel like it.
(I'm putting her on "My list of things to do". I'm going to spend more time with her. I'm not saying I don't spend enough time with any of my kiddos. But with the two bigger ones being in school for eight hours a day and then soccer practice for an hour and a half two days a week...I'm really missing out. I have to come up with a plan to spend more time with my babies before their not babies anymore.)
Anyway, we thoroughly enjoyed our selves yesterday. Much needed, that's for sure!
Sometimes, I regret becoming a parent. The moment of regret only lasts about a second, a minute, a couple of minutes. But sometimes, I really do.
Sometimes, I look at those little faces and am completely overwhelmed. Sometimes, I just wanna run. Sometimes, I just want to hang my head and tell everyone that they were right. I had no business becoming a mother at the ripe ole' age of 19. 19! What was I thinking?! I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking just like any other 18 (at the time) year old. I could take on the world! I was free! There was nothing I couldn't conquer!...Maybe I wasn't completely wrong, but me?! A MOTHER?! Seriously?!
My child hood sucked!...I won't go into a lot of detail, but it did. I was raised by more than a handful of people and families. My mother was a Jehovah's Witness. My real father wasn't around. My Step father was Catholic. My Aunt was Baptist....Sometimes Holiness. My Grandmother...believed in God. None of the people I ever lived with attended worship on a regular basis. We would go to Mass on Saturday, The Kingdom Hall on Sunday and the Baptist church on Wednesday's. Sometimes we wouldn't go anywhere for a long time. You wanna talk about a confused child....
I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter the fall after I graduated high school. I was 18 and far from being married. Can you imagine the slack I got for that?! I also got lots of lectures. Lots of "Babies require round the clock care." and "You have no idea how much goes into taking care of a baby." ....I got all of this scary "advice". Me being me, I took it all with a grain of salt. I was excited I was going to be a mother. I was going to give my baby security. I was going to love my baby like no one had ever loved me. My baby was going to know she was wanted, and I knew that I was going to be the best mom ever. And for the most part, that was and still is true.
As an eighteen year old, I was naive to the fact that my precious pink little bundle of joy would eventually grow into a child. A currently almost nine year old child that watches my every move. A nine year old child that has questions about cooking, cleaning, and recently, her SOUL!
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Um. Wait a minute. I don't recall anyone ever saying "Kimberly, do you realize that you are responsible for making sure your child makes it to heaven?!" I often wonder what I would've said if someone had actually said that to me. I wonder if I would have tried to be a good godly mother if someone had said something like to me. No one did, though. Everyone just tried to scare the wits out of me by telling me how "awful" having a baby was. What is wrong with the world?!
Three. Steven and I have three little souls (besides our own) that we are primarily responsible for. Not just lives, but souls.
Sometimes (only for a second) that overwhelms me to the point of running far, far away. It literally scares the daylights out of me. Three. Not just one, but three. Not just my own. Not a stranger on the street. My KIDS. The very fibers of my being. I don't know about any one else but that is a very overwhelming thought that I have only recently been putting serious thought into.
Encouraging thoughts and advice are always welcome : )
ld: Mommy, Devan wouldn't come play with me cuz she's sick.
Me: Oh, sad. Did you tell her to feel better?
ld: No, I killed her. She's dead.
Me: Why did you kill Devan?
ld: I just do that when she don't play with me.
Did this remind you of, Monty Python and the quest for the Holy Grail? You know when they're calling "Bring out the dead!" and they bring out that old man that wasn't dead yet? And the old man argues with his family that he's "not dead yet"?!
Just a thought.... : )
.....Yes, we explained to little d why she shouldn't kill her sister.....or say she did......
Man, the things you never imagine having to say to your children! "Little d, no saying you've killed your sister..."
Last night, I took the d's to see a high school soccer game. They haven't ever been so I thought it would be a nice surprise. As soon as I pulled up, Middle d started thanking me. He said he had always wanted to see "big kids" play in real life. Big D was really excited because one of their defenders was number seven, and that has been her number and position since she started playing soccer.
We couldn't stay and watch both games because little d was accidentally shoved off the bleachers and it was getting really cold.