Monday, September 19, 2011

Kimberly

Every time I blog, I tell you guys about my wonderful D's.  I shed a little light on our day-to-day.  The light is usually a very pretty one.  Today, I'm switching it up a little.  I'm going to tell y'all a little about myself.  I've decided that from this day forward, that I will not not only talk about the present but also the past.  It made me who I am today and I like me.  So from now on you get the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Here goes...

Hey.  I'm Kimberly, daughter of a disabled mother and a father whom I don't know.  Little sister to Joey and big sister to Anthony and Jennifer. I'm a sinner saved by the grace of God.  I'm twenty eight years old.  I'm married to the love of my life and best friend, Steven.
 
I am a mother to three living babies Devan, Dominick, and Diamond.  I also have three angels in heaven.  A daughter that I gave birth to in the bathroom when I was 16.  Doctors say I was between seventeen and nineteen weeks along.  I didn't know I was pregnant or in labor with her.  I don't remember much about her.  I think it's because I tried so hard to forget.  Sometimes I try to remember details about her but I guess my heart isn't ready because I can't.  The only thing I remember is how bad it hurt.  My heart.

The other two were a set of twins.  I lost them at twelve weeks.  Devan was only about 5 months old.  Believe it or not, I was actually sort of relieved when I miscarried.  Am I relieved now? No.  Absolutely not, I still grieve them.

My little girl child hood was taken away from me at the ripe old age of eight.  I was award of the state from the time I was ten until the day I turned eighteen.

Between fifteen and seventeen I tried almost every drug {legal or illegal}that I knew of.  Thankfully, I didn't develop an addiction to any of them.  I started smoking cigarettes when I was fifteen.  I quit when I was twenty two.

I was baptized into Christ on a cold, rainy December night when I was twenty-two. (YAY!!!)

After my first born, I battled PPD.  The depression never went away.  As a matter of fact, it got worse with every child.  I didn't fully recover from PPD until March of this year.  I want to get out of bed now.  I want to be a part of social gatherings.  I'm still battling depression, but I'm getting better.

So, there we go.  A little bit of quality information about myself.

Anyone wanna talk?

4 comments:

  1. very raw, but what an awesome testimony to God's saving grace. He has big plans for you and you've always been destined to do great things...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perfect. "The only thing I remember is how bad it hurt. My heart."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow.I erased two comments, I don't know what to say, except, I hope that made you feel better to post that. So you weren't perfect, so you want the world to know. Did you want something from me? Sorry? I am. For any part I played great or small. The little girl would properly have been mine, since you were only 16. I want her, what would her name be? I want twin grand children were their names? You've told me bits of these things, extremely hard to face. Blame here or blame there. What makes the difference! Nobodies perfect, if I openly confessed all my sins I don't suppose they'd sound believable, Besides everyone else seems to enjoy doing that more. I am a sinner and not even possible to be otherwise. Im as dirty and sorry as the lowdowns get, I tried and failed to be perfect.I tried to make a happy life, It was mostly beyond my control, I suppose what matters is I'm still trying.So sorry for your loses and your sorrows and any part I had to play. I love you, all my imperfect family, Beverly too.









    this makes you happier healthier by the we
    ight of the
    consequences them I am happy for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am proud of you. You are an amazing woman despite, and because of all you have gone through, and I love you with all my heart.

    ReplyDelete