tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46766853707904748182024-03-20T00:41:48.660-07:00A day in my life as a 3D MommyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.comBlogger210125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-17852249188560711252016-05-16T14:04:00.002-07:002016-05-16T14:04:37.516-07:00One Birthday. Six Anniversaries.Diamond, You turned six, three months ago! I meant to write you a letter, confessing my unconditional love, but with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it was shoved to the back burner and eventually "taken off the stove".<br />
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But here I am, I've managed to find a few moments to document a few things and also to tell you that, I do love you. Unconditionally.<br />
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<img height="426" src="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1525282_10202898761622634_7528321296137088883_n.jpg?oh=d08ae31b1c5f2cb6d2313719304f0708&oe=5799785B" width="640" /><br />
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A lot has changed in the short year it has taken you to turn six.<br />
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We moved and you became a big sister. You're a pretty amazing big sister! You're only jealous sometimes. Sometimes, I have to take a step back and a breath and remind myself that you were the center of attention until Dani came along. You used to like her a lot more, but she recently started crawling and now she "needs" to play with whatever you're playing with. I've gotta give it to you though, you're a pretty patient gal.<br />
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<img height="640" src="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1959405_10202898763102671_7171940159736709473_n.jpg?oh=2180ca6cef4de913a33c1eeb964c2776&oe=57D770D6" width="427" /><br />
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You recently graduated Kindergarten. What?! You are very very interested in reading and you currently love Fly Guy.<br />
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<img height="640" src="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10312055_10203353332826630_5990140719292827866_n.jpg?oh=308660b8d7f336eb1075ab043f221cff&oe=57DE3A60" width="425" /><br />
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My little ponies are your favorite thing to play with and I'll just go ahead and add that to your favorite show to watch, too!<br />
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John 3:16 was the first verse you mastered in sign language and you're working on Galatians 5:22-23. It seems as if you learn and retain your memory verse much easier if you also learn to sign it. Crazy kid, you're something else!<br />
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<img height="640" src="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/397498_10202699245274850_1621386631_n.jpg?oh=1a3249f33b356402972c412bf6f0ac74&oe=57A7E752" width="426" /><br />
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The other day, you had very bad behavior. It was the first offense that actually broke my heart. I won't say what it was, here on the blog, but I am making a note of it so that if you ever read this, we can talk about it. I will say that you have learned to appreciate sorting and putting your laundry away, and I will leave it at that.<br />
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I love you, my little blondie. Speaking of blonde, you are super duper excited because "your hair is turning brown, just like everyone else's". It's so strange how you've always longed for plain ole boring brown hair Blonde or brown, it doesn't matter to me, you're beautiful.<br />
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<img height="640" src="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10463970_10203465359947238_7715135353572942341_n.jpg?oh=c07f783681900adf38b77d2b7759a1ef&oe=57DE69D6" width="426" /><br />
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Love, Mommy (:<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-67750617952570605492016-05-16T13:55:00.000-07:002016-05-16T13:55:02.197-07:00Little bits to my babies***I just found this post that I started over a year ago. Why not publish it? Also, I can't believe I stopped doing this!***<br />
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September 16.<br />
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Dani, today you learned to go up and down stairs all by your self! My little independant girl!<br />
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September 17</div>
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Dani, you demanded sprinkles for lunch! You ate all of the red ones first! You're so funny!</div>
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September 23</div>
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Dom, today we celebrated your half birthday. You were so disappointed when I told you the cake failed, but you were splendidly surprised when I pulled out the store bought chocolate half cake. Daddy and I got you the book you've been eyeing for like, ever. The battery was completely dead in my camera when we celebrated you, so I didn't get any good pictures, but that doesn't mean that I love you any less. I did get a funny video with my phone. I love you and I like you. You make me laugh, funny boy.</div>
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September 28</div>
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Devan, today I watched you play volley ball. Your team lost both matches, but you tried and never gave up and that makes my heart swell with pride. I asked you if you wanted to stay and watch the ninth grade play and you happily replied "yes"! I knew that you really just wanted to hang out with your friend C and eat candy, so we stayed. You and C are very proud of yourselves because both of you fit in the lockers in the locker room. I told you not to tell anyone else that.</div>
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Seriously. Just Don't.</div>
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September 29</div>
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Diamond, you read a whole chapter from Frog and Toad today with out help! Impressive! You currently say that reading is boring, but I have a hard time believing that when you laugh hysterically when you're reading to me.</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-57050857963789703792014-09-15T20:03:00.002-07:002014-09-15T20:04:18.168-07:00Six and a half<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Diamond Idreal Kyleigh Rae, you turned six and a half, this week!</div>
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<img alt="Photo: Trying so hard to figure out why this cake was hers, only half of a cake and had six and a half candles on it. #diamondkyleigh #sixandahalf #ohsoblonde #halfbirthday #loveher" height="400" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/q81/p526x296/10625089_10204041247264061_5068104691100278201_n.jpg?oh=217b338562a0adba1ee264ed915dad24&oe=54C9D5C3&__gda__=1422463280_118256bad84b82958e8e74ac892c2351" width="400" /></div>
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This half of a cake was waiting on you when you got home from school. You couldn't seem to figure out why it was for you, so I put six and a half candles on it and your blonde self still didn't get it. You were totally stumped! Haha! </div>
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You were all "Hey Mommy, you pushed that candle in too far. You want me to pull it up a little, for you?"</div>
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Dominick-clever boy-finally figured it out for you!</div>
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We got you some little (inexpensive) ponies for your half day. You were pleasantly surprised! </div>
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It's all you've talked about since! </div>
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You're so cute!!</div>
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And you keep reminding Dominick-whose half birthday is less than two weeks away-that "Mommy doesn't treat us all the same, so don't expect a half birthday party. I mean, I hope you get one but, you know she's not fair, like that."</div>
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(You're totally right, though, about not treating you all the same. All of you are very different and need to be treated differently, but I still love and celebrate each of you!!)</div>
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Thanks, for looking out for him. </div>
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And me? </div>
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I mean, maybe I'll have the crappiest day ever and I won't get around to pulling a cake fail out of the freezer and frosting it for him, on his half birthday? Who knows? ;)</div>
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"A boy pony! It's all I've ever wanted!"</div>
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Who knew??</div>
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I hope we made you feel as special as you are, sweet girl! I love you so very much and can't wait to see how much you've changed by your seventh birthday!</div>
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PS: Mommy already has that My Little Pony Party planned! All it needs to be perfect, is a boy pony! HA!</div>
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XOXOX, Mommy</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-36897196477446998702014-08-15T08:26:00.000-07:002014-08-15T08:54:55.457-07:00Yes dayYesterday, we celebrated our first annual "Yes day!" <br />
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If you're anything like I am and you don't have a clue what Yes Day is, let me fill you in. It's exactly what it sounds like. Eliminate No from your vocabulary for the day and roll with yes. I had two rules for Yes Day.<br />
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1.) You may not ask for money.</div>
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2.) You may not ask for toys.</div>
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Honestly, I was hesitant about declaring Yes Day in our home. I won't say who, but a certain someone tends to take advantage of situations similar to this and <strike>he</strike> they really know how to push me to my breaking point. I was also afraid that I would be driving all over the city. I mean, Toys R Us is right down the road from us, so is the pool, Chuck E Cheeses, and plenty of other places where a kid can be a kid. But they weren't like that at all. They asked for things like rice krispy treats for breakfast and second breakfast (They're hobbits, I suppose).</div>
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Can we play with my Elefun? </div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can we play with both of my Elefun's?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can we play with play doh?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can we play with play doh in the kitchen?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can we have a snack, play with play doh in the kitchen and watch a movie on the lap top?</div>
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Yes? (my kids are weird)</div>
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Can I eat in my room?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I play on my Kindle?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I play with my barbies on the porch?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I clean out the car?</div>
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Yes?</div>
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Can I eat this pie?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I eat two pies?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I write my name on my school stuff?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I clean the table off?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can you fix my hair?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I watch this movie with you?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I wear my new shoes to volley ball practice?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I wear my new shoes to open house?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can we go to my class first?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Will you read this to me?</div>
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Yes.</div>
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Can I help you with that?</div>
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Yes?</div>
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<img alt="Photo: Open house tonight. Also, Dani is the cutest toddler ever!! #dominickjulius #diamondkyleigh #danikalifornia" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/p526x296/1908401_10203789354126890_8320458749064039202_n.jpg?oh=79b5285092de0ac2f5f3b5b4e83bf37e&oe=547EEC3E&__gda__=1417316245_923839a04c57348128603cc56a89f294" width="640" /></div>
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I was pleasantly surprised by what they asked for. No one asked to go anywhere! I'm not sure if it's because they didn't want to push their limits or what, but it was nice. It felt good to say yes! I didn't realize just how many things that I said no to! And no, I don't normally turn down help but I always say no to rice krispy treats for breakfast and new shoes are never worn before the first day of school. New shoes are to get them super pumped for the first day of school. It was sweet to see the twinkle in their eyes when I replied yes to every thing they cautiously asked. </div>
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If you're a strict Mama like me and you haven't given Yes day a shot, you definitely should. It was the easiest day of my year and yes, my kiddos ate more than the normal amount of sugar and I need to mop my kitchen floor because of the massive amounts of play-doh resin that's smeared all over it and Dani ate like three crayons (all purple ones) and a few rainbow loom bands because I said yes to doing those activities in their bedroom but, we're all still alive, today.</div>
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The best thing about Yes Day? My kiddos woke up with a great attitude this morning. They didn't ask for rice krispy treats for breakfast and they know that there will be chores and normal bedtime, but they are cheerful and can't stop talking about just how much they loved Yes Day! And that, my friends, is success!</div>
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Happy Friday!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-70576720657248994422014-08-12T21:36:00.001-07:002014-08-12T21:36:47.239-07:00Summer lovin' had me a blastKids, can we talk about this summer? I'm exhausted and finally figured out why.<br />
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We kicked our summer off with a wedding in Texas. Hottest day ever! Also, a very beautiful one.<br />
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Just a couple of days after the wedding, we headed out for a Bruno Mars concert, which was awesome!!<br />
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We packed it up and road tripped it to New Orleans almost immediately after Bruno Mars. We mush have walked a million miles while we played tourists in that beautiful city! We had beignets for the first time and we rode a river boat for the first time. So much fun! I think mine and Dom's favorite part was the nachos they served while we were cruising the river. Ha! We managed to leave an entire bag of laundry in our hotel room and sadly, it magically disappeared and is just gone. So, the Bruno Mars outfits and my Bruno Mars t-shirt and lots of other favorites are just gone. Forever.<br />
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When we got home from New Orleans, we packed y'all (Devan and Dominick) up for your first week of summer camp! Y'all had a blast, but your sisters missed you terribly. Dani went into tornado mode and Diamond pulled her hair out. Trying to entertain an 11 month old is obviously stressful.<br />
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Diamond, we went to the discovery museum. You loved it! Dani tolerated it, because she loves you. ;)<br />
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Devan, you and Daddy shared a first. Y'all ran a 5k. You came in third in your age division, cuz you're awesome like that! I am so proud of you!!!<br />
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Diamond and Dominick, you two had a first, as well. Y'all were on the news!<br />
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Look at you, girl! You're famous! Only little blond haired, corn rowed Diamonds get to give the weather forecast in a bathing suit!<br />
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In Mid-July, we packed up and headed to Orlando, where we met up with Uncle Joey, Jill, Tristen and S. We stayed at the Blue Green Fountains Resort for four days. We had so much fun there! That place was awesome-complete with three pools and kids activities! I think every one's favorite was the under ground pool!<br />
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Diamond, we went on a special date to Disney World. I had so much fun with you! You we're so perfect and adorable! In this photo, you're showing Tinker Bell your shiny Jessie penny that you made earlier that day. You said that your favorite part was playing on the playground while waiting to ride Dumbo and splashing in the rain with S. Your least favorite part was the Lilo and Stitch ride. It was uncomfortable and spooky. At the end of the day, you got to pick out a souvenir. You choose a baby Pegasus. You have lugged that thing everywhere!<br />
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While Diamond and I were at Disney World, Uncle Joey put his brave pants on and took the rest of you to Gatorland. From the stories I've heard, y'all had a really good time! Each of you brought home a gator tooth. Yuck!<br />
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After we left the Fountains, we headed to Vero Beach. The first thing we did was go and see if we could find the manatees. We found them, but Dani was unimpressed and left. <br />
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Dani, I love your curls! Have I ever told you that?! Ha!<br />
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After the manatees came an impromptu visit to the beach! Best.Day.Ever.<br />
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We spent a few more days in Vero before heading to Georgia. We tried for a beachy photo shoot, but that didn't go as planned, so we ditched the idea of it, changed into our swim suits and went swimming instead. (:<br />
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Dani, you turned one while we were in Vero Beach. That occasion naturally called for cake...on the beach.<br />
You totally demolished your cupcake and afterwords added a little sand. I guess you're like your Grandma. You have to have salty after sweet!<br />
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The waves were killer on your birthday. No, really, I think they were trying to off your siblings. Funny thing is that it was their favorite day. A bunch of Nuts, they are, Dani. A bunch of nuts, indeed!<br />
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Also, Devan, you grew a beard and turned into Poseidon. Weird.<br />
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I made the executive decision that we couldn't leave Vero Beach until we watched the sun rise over the ocean. Just the five of us. You know, if we had a bucket list, it would definitely be on it. So, consider it checked! The sunrise was magnificent.<br />
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Devan, we had a full blown teenage spat, there. I think you were tired and sleepy...but you didn't choose very wise words and there were some consequences that left you a snotty mess. When you're all grown up and you read this, lets talk about it. (:<br />
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After trucking it straight to Georgia, we settled at your grandparent's house for the week. While visiting with them, we drove to one of my childhood swim spots and hung out. It was only like 74 degrees that day. We froze, which is a weird thing to say about July.<br />
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Dominick, you were such a good kid on this whole trip! I am uber proud of you and all of the progress that you've made. You're wonderful, social and comedic personality is just flourishing! I thoroughly enjoyed listening to you leading singing at Daddy's home church. You're such a blessing! I love you, my bonus boy!!<br />
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While we were in the area, we hiked to the waterfalls. I took yall's picture in front of the falls. I have so many pictures/memories of my own childhood there. It is only fitting. (:<br />
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We got to spend the day with Uncle Anthony, while we were in Georgia. We went swimming on the Toccoa River- another place I swam when I was little. It was so nice visiting with him. We went to his house after words and he fixed us dinner. I never imagined my little brother cooking in the kitchen! HA!<br />
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We spent our last weekend of vacation in North Carolina with LaLa. She spoiled you girls with moccasins and Dom with a sling shot. We spent plenty of time in the water there, too!<br />
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Our last weekend flew by far too quickly. We were sad to leave but happy to be going home! Since coming home, we have stayed put. I don't think we have anymore trips planned for the summer. This summer has been a blast! An exhausting blast! I love each of you, dearly! I can't wait to see what next summer holds!<br />
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Adventure is out there!!!...It will just have to wait until I've slept. A lot.<br />
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XOXOX, MommyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-29304890120953252272014-05-26T22:44:00.002-07:002014-05-26T22:44:21.985-07:00Dani-10 monthsDear sweet Dani Kalifornia Ruby Rayne,<br />
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You are ten months old! That's two months from a whole year!! It's crazy just how quickly these past months have dragged on! <br />
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You made a few changes between your ninth and tenth month. Awesome and adorable changes, I might add!<br />
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On May 1st, you cut your first tooth!<br />
On May 9th, you cut your second tooth!<br />
On May 23rd, you slept thru the night for the first time since November! Praise the LORD!!!<br />
On May 25th, you pointed and said a word similar word to look. It sounded more like "lick" but was clearly intended to be "look"...but now that I think about it, maybe you were saying lick. You do love to taste of everything. You also clapped with both palms open instead of one palm open and one closed. You sat your self up, unassisted. And the biggest thing you did was CRAWL!!!<br />
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It was so funny, you were playing your daily game of fetch with Dominick (exercising him), you threw the ball and he didn't retrieve it-busy I guess. You yelled at us to get it for a sec but we were all busy, chatting and doing our own thing. You put yourself in a crawling position, hesitated (by this time we were all sushing each other, watching you) and crawled over to your ball. You picked up the ball with your right hand and sat your self back up. It was that easy. It's so crazy. Sweet girl, you take your time reaching your milestones. But when you're ready, you're READY!!!<br />
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On May 25th, your tenth month birthday, you had you're first experience at the lake. You loved staring at the water but HATED touching the water! You thought it was horrible! Dearest baby girl, we will have to work on that because your Mommy is a duck! We love water! You happily sat and piled sand on our beach towel for two hours! You wanted to put everything in your mouth!...and I kind of let you (my bad). I was hoping that you would find the taste of beachy nature pretty distasteful, but you loved it!! Sticks were yummy, pine cones were yummy, towels were ok, sand was delicious!!! I think you would've sat and played all day, but Big sister Buggy was freezing to death and tired and cranky and miserable and Big Brother accidentally kicked a rock with his already possibly broke toe and Big sister Devan started being a bully to the injured brother, so we decided to pack up and leave before you found drama of you're own. (:<br />
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Dani, I love you so much. You are such a blessing to our family. For years, I had an ache in my heart, a hole that could not be filled. I knew that something was missing-someone was missing, and it was YOU! I love you. You complete me-us as a family. I love you're big blue eyes that are shaped like mine but are the same color as Daddy's. I love you're ever changing hair color and girl, let's talk about those curls! Oh my! When I was a little girl, I planned to have three daughters, all with unmanageable locks of curls. Fast forward 19 years later to Devan-straight haired Devan who pulled all of her hair out when Brother came along. FF 21 years to Dominick-boy with an afro...boy. FF 24 years to Diamond-<a href="http://3dmommy.blogspot.com/2010/03/gods-sense-of-humor.html">one curled Diamond</a>. Dani, by the time you came along, I had given up on the curl thing and just prayed that you wouldn't be bald for two years like Diamond. We go lucky! Baby, you have curls! Lots of them!<br />
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That's all, sweet baby. Mommy loves you! xoxoxAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-11526509788689976802014-05-22T09:27:00.000-07:002014-05-22T09:27:04.308-07:00Good newsAfter a long nine months of full time work and full time classes, my husband is back.<br />
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My life has been such a hectic mess for the past nine months. Dealing with three school aged kids, a newborn and PPD almost put me over the edge. I spent many, many hours crying and just trying to cope-to function properly and not look like the total basket case that I was. Trying to figure out how to be me when I had no idea who I was. It's weird, I know and I blame the PPD for it.<br />
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I questioned why we decided to have a fourth child. I wanted her. I prayed for her. I longed for her. I celebrated her. I questioned her? Near the end, not only was I starting to question my baby-my precious daughter, but I was also questioning my marriage, my family and eventually, my sanity.<br />
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Seriously, I wanted desperately to LEAVE- to get in the car and leave this life behind me. I wanted to be alone but the thought of being alone was terrifying. I wanted quiet but I needed noise. When my kiddos were at school, I missed them terribly and when they were home, I glanced at the clock-way too often, hoping it was time to start the bed time routine. I missed Steven so much that it hurt and by the time he got home, that hurt had turned into anger and I wanted nothing to do with him. And this went on for month after month. To say that it sucked would be a serious understatement.<br />
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One week. It has been one week since Steven's last final. In one week I was reminded of a few things...<br />
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<i>We</i> wanted, prayed for, long for and celebrated our fourth child. <i>We</i> love her. She is joy-a sheer blessing! My family is my favorite family and I love spending time with my husband and kiddos. I love being married. I love who I am married to. I'm totally head-over-heals-in-love with that guy! And the best part?<br />
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I was only temporarily insane. PHEW!<br />
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For real!<br />
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Oh Happy Day, Friends! Oh, happy day.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-67590319359546068262014-05-20T11:28:00.002-07:002014-05-20T11:28:32.246-07:00Hey, you!I was cleaning the office the other day and Miss Dani strolled up in her walker. We had this big mirror beside the desk and she spotted herself. She's seen her reflection in mirrors before, but this time I think she recognized herself. To say that she was fascinated would be a total understatment. She kept looking at her the little caterpillar magnet in her hand and then looking at it in the mirror. She would slowly turn it from side to side glancing back at her hand and then back to her reflection. It was totally adorable.<br />
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Then, she got a little too excited and rammed into the mirror causing it to fall over and break. Fortunately, it didn't fall on her and the glass didn't go flying everywhere.<br />
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I love being able to watch her grow and learn new things! She is such a blessing to our family. (:Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-60741367405541780752014-05-14T11:56:00.001-07:002014-05-14T11:56:45.461-07:00Rainy meToday, I am just sad! I have been for days! But today is just the worst. It's one of those "sads" that make me wanna pack up and hit the road and just drive until I feel better. <div><br></div><div>I'm so tempted to do that. Drive. </div><div><br></div><div>But there are several hearts and minds that wouldn't understand my desperate need to drive. So here I sit, cooped up in this unlit house with a baby that deserves a happier Mama. She is extra clingy today. I'm sure she senses my sadness and that makes me feel guilty. Guilty for being sad. Guilty for being tired. Guilty for being guilty. It just sucks.</div><div><br></div><div>Maybe tomorrow will be better...</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-48271650308940322272014-01-16T16:01:00.000-08:002014-01-16T16:01:10.502-08:00A PPD updateHey, there. I know it's been a while since I posted, but life has been far from laid back and honestly this little space has been one of the last things on my mind. Still my mind, but not a priority.<br />
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In my last post, I talked about my struggles with PPD. I would love to report that everything is peaches and cream, but it isn't. I'm slowly getting better. most days I am perfectly fine but others, not so much. It's so weird because just a soon as i think I'm better, I'll have an episode of insomnia followed by dark, crazy thoughts and severe depression. And while these "storms" are slowly disappearing, they are still popping up. It sucks, but I've learned to hunker down and wait for it to pass. Like all storms, it eventually does.<br />
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We're five months, almost six from Dani's delivery and I still cant watch a movie that has hysterical laughing in it, or screaming. It sends me straight into panic mode. I can't breathe and feel the need to "run" somewhere, anywhere. It's so weird, I can watch anything that has to do with labor and delivery and be just fine, but laughing or screaming? Nope. There are several things that I couldn't do a few months ago that i can do now, though. For instance, I can go to Wal-Mart, with Dani, without feeling completely overwhelmed and helpless and I can walk outside and feel the sun shine on my face without a four hour pep talk. It's strange to look back just a few months and see the person that I was, so filled with fear, afraid of everything. ...Eeesh.<br />
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So anyway, I know some of you have messaged me and were wondering "how" I was doing, and that's my answer. I'm ok-mostly.<br />
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Please still keep me in your prayers and thank you in advance for them!<br />
<br />
xoxox-KAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-49500210161439598232013-09-26T14:40:00.000-07:002013-09-26T14:40:30.334-07:00I'm not crazy. I'm just a little unwell...I had my six week check up a couple of days ago. Well, actually it was more like my eight week check up because I had to reschedule my appointment twice.<br />
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I was actually excited about this check up. Somewhere in my {sometimes} unrealistic mind, I thought it would be some sort of closure to the trauma I experienced during Dani's delivery. I thought I would be able to boldly peel off the stack of appointment stickers that have been stuck to the back of my cell phone since the last time I was in the office. I had this list of things that I wanted to discuss with Dr. M, mostly on the Post Partum Depression topic, but as soon as he walked in the room it was all I could do not to high tail it out of there. Fear, along with panic set in. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the stickers are still there =/</td></tr>
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"How are things?" he asked. "Just fine!" I lied. "Have you had any problems?" he replied. "Nope!" I lied again. <em>What the hell? Why did you just say you were fine? You re not fine! Come on, tell him. Tell him your mind sucks and that you are a lot of things, but you are NOT fine </em> "Do you have questions?" he asked, interrupting my rambling thoughts. "Not any that I can think of." I replied.... "You are perfect!" he proclaimed! "That's what I like to hear!" I quickly replied with a smile. <em> That was like a double lie right there. How did I just lie with a smile on my face?...</em><br />
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Needless to say, I did not walk out of that office with a feeling of closure. It felt more like failure and it was my fault. I could've just opened my mouth and told him that I wasn't okay, but how can I look a sane person in the face and say "Yes, actually I've been dwelling heavily on suicide lately. Not actually thinking about doing it my self per say but thinking about it. No, I do not want to do something like that, but you know, the thought is still there." How do I say something like that with out looking like a full blown crazy person???<br />
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Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 says it best when he says "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell." <br />
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That's how I feel. That little phrase sums me up.<br />
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I was actually doing okay with everything up until a week or two ago. It was so weird, one day I was fine and that night I wasn't. The crazy thoughts kicked in and so did the insomnia. At first, I kicked it up to PMS but after the period came and went and the unrealistic thoughts, insomnia, inconsolable crying and over all sadness stayed, I knew exactly what was going on.<br />
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Post Partum Depression had set up shop.<br />
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There have been nights where I have spent hours staring into oblivion wondering what it felt like to be one of those people who take the plunge to suicide by slitting their wrists. I wonder what it would feel like to feel the warm life flow out of my body and lay in a cold puddle on the floor. I wonder if those people feel any relief from their deep sadness and despair after they take the plunge...<br />
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and then I jump back to reality and quickly rally the ppd thoughts. This isn't normal me, this isn't who I am. These aren't my thoughts, these thoughts belong to the silent and emotionally crippling, post partum depression. I know this and it makes it easier to deal with but it's still really hard. Suicide isn't something I want to do or would even ordinarily think about. It's just the cold, hard thoughts of raging PPD. At it's finest, I must say.<br />
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<br />
I know these feelings of hopelessness and crazy nauseating thoughts are only temporary. It's just, some days, it's harder to hold a grip on reality than others. Some days, it's harder to see tomorrow, or even the next hour. Some days it's hard to look out of the window and see that the sun is shining and actually believe it. Some days its just hard to exist yet I know that I have to.<br />
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...And other days are better. Today has been a good day, obviously. I've been able to sit and jot this little post on my personal struggle with PPD. But this is as far as I can go. I cant talk about it any more today. Maybe I'll post more later, but for now I'm finished.<br />
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I ask that you keep me in your prayers. Lord knows how much I need them. Also keep my family in your prayers, they have to live with me and I'm sure that's not easy at times.<br />
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Oh, and I'm okay. Trust me. This is the forth time that I've been thru this. It's just an unpleasant season and like any season, it will pass.<br />
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Happy Thursday, Friends! (:Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-46422232098219629282013-09-23T18:17:00.001-07:002013-09-23T19:59:55.176-07:00Stream of consciousness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGYZdaWzfkgGlrq6veoKdGK3oe1QEI32_KDGl_Q-8TAivYg4QB6n9YwRflP4Tj-zYQispJePgInSSFbwaMrHp_ITbnZGyZZbZwLfaYEHT-WOFwjn8N6_rDKJxZrRZvvRLKYDgtgTcl884P/s1600/Danismilesagain+002.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGYZdaWzfkgGlrq6veoKdGK3oe1QEI32_KDGl_Q-8TAivYg4QB6n9YwRflP4Tj-zYQispJePgInSSFbwaMrHp_ITbnZGyZZbZwLfaYEHT-WOFwjn8N6_rDKJxZrRZvvRLKYDgtgTcl884P/s320/Danismilesagain+002.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Sometimes, this little thing gives me this look ^^^ and I'm like </div>
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"Oh, My Goodness! I gave birth to my freakin' Mother!!!"</div>
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Seriously.</div>
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It freaks me out.</div>
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Every. Time.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhISH1UF6iSIJ4m7sVHiSt-31iN2fXNh0a3bUtG1q8_n2ucfKpW5xYNvk7ytrsoa2iMHuJsAOCELeMdRcfpFZ9hOQmjjK9ORJoqbJeKy6yCH1NJFcNKU5DVrxgmlA25i88u7hOa_8z4T7f2/s1600/Danismilesagain+005.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhISH1UF6iSIJ4m7sVHiSt-31iN2fXNh0a3bUtG1q8_n2ucfKpW5xYNvk7ytrsoa2iMHuJsAOCELeMdRcfpFZ9hOQmjjK9ORJoqbJeKy6yCH1NJFcNKU5DVrxgmlA25i88u7hOa_8z4T7f2/s320/Danismilesagain+005.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And when this little thing smiles, I totally forgive her for all of the hours that she plays the crying game...and also playing the lets-see-how-many-hours-I-can-stay-up mid night marathon game she thoroughly enjoys playing. Often.</div>
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Also, I forgive her for looking just like my mother, at times. {Ha!}</div>
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Steven is taking sign language in school...We're all taking sign language.</div>
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At home.</div>
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Diamond is living up to the whole "blonde" stereotype. We went to her parent teacher conference today and her teacher shared a little sliver of a conversation that she and Diamond had the other day. She said to Diamond, "Diamond, I want you to write all of the words you <em>know</em>." </div>
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Diamond proudly wrote the word "<em>NO</em>" and that is all. (:</div>
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The boy almost had a panic attack when he saw that his science grade was a 90. He was so ashamed. Maybe we're too hard on that little dude. Nah, we must be doing something right, if that is his lowest grade. Also, I realized {just now} that I didn't have recent pictures of him by himself, so I went to take one but that is as close as I got. I know he's in a house full of girls but he's a fantastic big brother and Dani loves him. </div>
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She also loves to yell at him.</div>
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She's very quick to anger. </div>
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We're still working on that one.</div>
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I was going to talk about my PPD in this post, but I will save that for another day. This post is too happy to drag in a little black rain cloud...actually it would be a storm. Maybe tomorrow.</div>
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...</div>
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Bouncing right back to happy</div>
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This girl likes to work out.</div>
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Mostly at night.</div>
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Like 2 a.m.</div>
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I wish I was as dedicated as she was.</div>
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She tries really hard to motivate me but I've just never been a fan of 2 a.m. workouts.</div>
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Well, she's yelling at the boy, so I'm calling it quits for tonight.</div>
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Happy Monday, Friends! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-27726612380915652312013-09-09T11:02:00.000-07:002013-09-09T11:02:13.074-07:00Dani Kalifornia: Dad's birth story<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hi, I’m Kimberly’s Husband and father to all the “D”s.
Kimberly asked me to share my side of the birth story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where to begin?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Diamond (little “d”) was my first biological child. Her birth
was amazing, beautiful, and a little overwhelming. Kimberly loves telling
everyone how I sat and read as she was given her epidural shot. I don’t deny
it; I just have no memory of doing that. I guess it was just how I dealt with
the stress of the moment. Ha! I had no idea how easy we had it. There were
really no complications until Diamond started turning blue (she was born with
pneumonia). One week later, everyone was home safe, but the woman who came home
with me was not my wife. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was a child with a child (I had just turned 21, and despite
what people may say that is still a child) and was not the help that I should
have been. I worked and came home and slept after spending a little time with
my baby girl. Kimberly did pretty much everything, and before long, we were
both working. We switched up shifts to be home with little “d”, but we both
worked. Before long, I had two jobs; preaching and waiting tables. This added
more to both of our plates. We developed a system for getting the bigger kids
ready that worked, and we functioned well enough; but I now see that the stress
that I put on her contributed to Kimberly’s post-partum depression. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I heard that term before, but nothing can prepare you for
what that beast truly is. It took years for Kimberly to overcome and there was
nothing I could do. After about two years, the stresses of preaching for a
church where I was the second to youngest member (not counting my own children)
brought me into depression too. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We moved, life situations changed, and we both got better. By
the time little “d” was three, Kimberly started talking about us having a
fourth “D.” Paralyzing fear hit me. I just got my wife back! The happy, cheery
woman I married was resurfacing, what if another pregnancy stole her again. I never
loved her any less, in fact, I think hardship strengthened our love, but the
thought of revisiting that hardship was more than I could bear. On top of that,
parenting often cripples me with fear. I am terrified of messing my children up…
It scares me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fear makes me unreasonable and, sometimes, unkind. I told
Kimberly exactly what I thought. “I don’t think I can handle a fourth child, I
would probably run!” It was just the first thought that came up; I said it and
forgot about it. Little did I know, Kimberly couldn’t forget it and thought I
meant I would leave her if we ever had another child.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A year went by. While Kimberly was coming to terms with the
fact that we were never having another child, I realized that I didn’t want to
be done. I couldn’t fight back the feelings that I felt every time I looked at
an infant. My baby girl was 4 ½! She was going to preschool and would be in
Kindergarten next year. She wasn’t a baby any more. Plus, I was only a witness
to PPD, if Kimberly lived that nightmare and was willing to chance it, I could
man up about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We talked about it and Kimberly shared what she had been
bearing all along, a fear that I would leave her if we had another child. Wow!
What harm we can inflict by careless words! We decided, after a lot of talking
and praying, that we wanted to try for our fourth “D.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That was just to help you understand some of my anxiety
(don’t be hatin’, this is honesty). Fast forward about a million prayers and
the whole “If this baby is a boy we are naming him Captain whether you like it
or not, Steven” ordeal to “labor day.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We make it to Mena without an emergency delivery in the car!
Score! Here we are at the hospital, everything is going well… as well as it can
be with three small children crammed onto a couch having to hide behind the
curtain every time someone comes to “check” mommy (that word will never be the
same) and waiting for our friends to come pick them up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is all very shaky in my memory, so bear with me. They break
Kimberly’s water… um scary… and she is still all happy and giggly as she realizes
her second pair of socks is soaked by her water. Now the real deal scary
contractions start coming. I get a text that our friends are on their way to
get the kids but are running a little late. This makes me a little nervous, but
I prayed about every aspect of this delivery for so long that I’m sure it will
all be okay. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the next few minutes, it becomes obvious that Kimberly is
in serious pain and just trying to keep it under control of the kids’ sake.
Then it gets to be too much and she starts puffing and moaning, the nurse comes
to check and see if Kimberly is dilated to five and ready for an epidural. So
we are all gathered behind the curtain again and I’m thinking “Why do you have
to check someone in this much pain to see if they are ready for pain relief?!?!
And praying they get her that monster shot soon (notice, I’m not reading this
time! Yay me!) and that our friends show up to get the kids asap… like
yesterday! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">By this point Kimberly is muffling back her screams and Devan
is hysterical with concern for Mommy. Just then I get the message that our
friends are here, Kimberly looks at me with eyes that beg me not to leave as I
tell her I have to take the kids out to their baby-sitters. I rush them out,
trying to comfort Devan, who’s face says that is the scariest thing she has
ever seen, and hand them over – blood curdling scream from the other room –
tell the kids I love them – run back into the room to find Kimberly on hands
and knees – rub her back and feebly try to comfort her – end of first killer
contraction.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kimberly is in tears and begging to leave. I held her face
and made her look at me and tried to tell her gently and firmly that she has to
stay while frantically praying for God to give her peace and relief until the
anesthesiologist gets there. By the time he does I’m holding Kimberly as she
bites and screams the most pitiful and pain-filled screams I have ever heard. I
try to focus on comforting Kimberly and not punching the epidural guy as he
says “if you don’t calm down and hold still I’m not going to be able to do
this” in a tone that says “I’m sooo board right now.” Kimberly tries hard to
sit (on Dani’s crowning head as we would soon find out) through the next
contraction so that epidural guy can get a good shot at her back. This is the
most pain I have ever seen anyone in! It was at this moment, for the first
time, it hits me that God could say “No” to our prayers for a safe and painless
delivery. Kimberly is in so much pain that I am terrified that something is very
wrong. It shouldn’t be like this. What if something happens to her or our
little Dani?! Through these thoughts I’m shaking and trying to comfort Kimberly
and trying to pray but all that will come into my head is “Please, please,
please!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When that horror of a contraction ends, Kimberly begs
epidural guy, between sobs, to hurry up and give her the shot before the next
contraction comes. This dude fumbles around with his stuff and thinks that now
would be a great time for a lecture on calming down and letting him do his job
(I’m sorry, this is just my impressing, I’m sure it’s an awful job and all, but
this is my wife). The nurse realizes that something isn’t right and tells
Kimberly that she needs to check her. When she does, she doesn’t have to say a
word, her look is enough and dude packs up his stuff and leaves. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kimberly begs and pleads with him to stay as the nurse tells
her there is no time and another nurse frantically calls for Mesko. Somewhere
in all this, I look down and see my daughter’s nose and forehead as I realize
the nurse is trying to convince Kimberly that she has to stay and can’t just
walk out. Dr. M runs in and tells Kimberly to breathe so she can give him a good
push because Dani’s shoulders are ready to come out. Yeah, that’s right; her
whole head was out before he could get to Kimberly. That is how quick it all
happened and why it is so hard to remember the most traumatic half hour of our
lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dani rolled on out and was beautiful (my first thought) and
huge (my second thought). I was in love. We loved her every step of the way,
but there is nothing like the first time you see your child. There are no
words, just love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had a few blissful minutes with my baby girl as she was
weighed and measured, and then there was the blood. Hemorrhaging, shaking,
panic, and once again there is nothing I can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over an hour, and one long untimely visit,
later, the shaking finally stopped. Every time the delivery nurse came to check
on Kimberly and rub the blood clots out of her belly the shaking would begin
again. I was worried about PPD when I should have been worried about PTSD.
Kimberly is amazing, beautiful, and strong, but this was a nightmare. Neither
of our stories do justice to the situation. How do you put into words
indescribable pain, what it’s like to helplessly watch your wife as she pleads with
God to just pass out to get a break from the pain? How do you describe the fear
that something is so terribly wrong that your wife or child may not survive the
delivery? I can’t. It is not all bad; everyone is alive and well or at least
recovering. Our baby girl is a tremendous blessing and we love her dearly, and
Kimberly is herself, just traumatized. God is good. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to end on a positive note. So I will just share a
little of the joy that God has since blessed us with. This morning, after Dani
and I snoozed together, I walked into the living room. As soon as Dani saw
Kimberly, she gave her the biggest smiles I have ever seen. God is good and He
will bring us through this. He knows what we need to heal, and He will provide.
Thank you all for your love and concern!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-52367462826938523752013-09-02T14:33:00.000-07:002013-09-02T16:37:22.926-07:00Dani Kalifornia: A birth storyJust real quick, before I get into this. A few facts about my past pregnancies, labors and deliveries.<br />
<br />
1. The longest I've ever been pregnant was thirty seven weeks and one day.<br />
2. Each time I've been in actual labor, I've walked into my midwife's office a tad uncomfortable and dilated to five.<br />
3. As soon a I entered the hospital I was given fluid and an epidural and then my water was broke and my labor progressed normally...meaning, I dilated a centimeter per hour for the next four hours, pushed a couple of times and out popped a baby. Badda Bing! Badda Boom! Baby.<br />
<br />
Dominick's labor and birth was more difficult because of an issue with high blood pressure and my epidural didn't work toward the very end...and I hemorrhaged after his birth, but looking back, it was nothing compared Dani's birth.<br />
<br />
So, here it goes, the story of Dani.<br />
<br />
At my forty week appointment with Dr. M, I discussed my fears of having an incredibly large baby, because, seriously guys, I was incredibly large myself...And Diamond was born at thirty seven weeks and she weighed a little over seven pounds, so I was thinking that Dani was just going to be humongous!<br />
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Case and point, here's me at forty one weeks...Yikes! It's not a very flattering photo, but seriously, who is when they've been pregnant for ten months and a week?!<br />
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Dr. M and I decided it would be best to wait one more week before inducing. I was healthy, baby was healthy, why not? He left it totally up to me. He said "Kimberly, if you want to be induced Thursday then show up at the hospital at 6 a.m. and we'll do this and if you don't want to do this then show up at my office Thursday morning at 8 a.m. and we'll go from there. At this point, I was still unsure.<br />
<br />
Steven and I took the week and prayed a lot about the whole induction thing and when Wednesday rolled around, we were sure that it's what we wanted to do. It was obvious that she wasn't willing to come on her own. Wednesday evening, the day before our scheduled induction, we drove the two and a half hour drive back to Mena. We went to the hospital to check out the birthing center and fill out the necessary paper work. While we were at the hospital they told us that we really should be there at 5:45 instead of 6:00. That put us leaving for the hospital at about 20 after five. I kind of rolled my eyes and thought to myself "You'll be lucky if I'm here at 6!". After that, we went to our friend's house, got the kiddos settled in bed and went to bed ourselves. Did I mention that I was having contractions at this point? They were teeny but coming at a steady pace. <br />
<br />
That night, I slept about as well as a newborn. I tossed and turned and woke up a lot. I just couldn't get comfortable and I had a nice little back ache going on. Looking back, I'm pretty sure that I was in the early stages of labor when we arrived at the hospital Thursday morning. I awoke for good at about four but for some reason I just wasn't motivated. I was ill and snappy and my poor kids were scrambling around trying to be very quiet so they didn't wake anyone up but also trying to do the task asked of them, quickly trying their best to avoid getting "bitten" by me. After I showered, I just sat around for a while. I'm not really sure why. I guess I was just trying to calm myself down and prepare my mind for what was about to happen. I remember praying for Dani to be delivered safe, for Dr. M to know what he was doing, and for me not to have to have a c-section because of Dani's size...I never prayed for a painless delivery...wish I would've.<br />
<br />
I guess my friend H saw what was going on with me and she took charge of the kiddos. She fed them and made sure their teeth were brushed and they had their stuff ready to go. Steven loaded up the car and I just ...hung out. We left K and H's house at 5:45 and headed to the hospital. I texted Steven's mom and told her that I would be texting her all day and updating her on what was going on and how the labor was progressing. On the way to the hospital I passed the time by timing contractions. They were still tiny and mild but coming every five to seven minutes. We arrived at the hospital at about five after six. We had to check in through the emergency room to get our paperwork and then head back to the labor and delivery floor. I held Diamond's hand while we walked back there and worried about how she would handle not being the "baby" anymore. The closer we got to the LDR floor the tighter her little hand squeezed in mine. I watched her eyes looking around taking everything in and I wondered what her five year old self was thinking. *tears* Gah! I'm such a sap trying to write this!<br />
<br />
Even though we were roughly 25 minutes late when we walked through the doors of the labor and delivery unit, the nurses were all smiley and super sweet. They knew exactly who I was and led me to my room. The nurse handed me a gown and white bag to put my clothes in. I hadn't ever been so excited to put a hospital gown on in my life! I slipped off my Harding t-shirt, the biggest t-shirt I owned {actually the biggest t-shirt Steven owned} and smiled as I folded it and slipped it and the rest of my clothes into the bag. I held up my gown and kind of snickered to myself because it was huge! "Finally!" I thought "Something that I will feel small in!" After I put it on, I couldn't help but snicker again because my <em>huge </em>gown didn't close all the way in the back! "Nothing can break my spirit!" I thought "I'm about to meet my daughter! This day is going to be epic!"<br />
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<br />
Okay, here's where the fun part starts. Around 6:30ish the nurse comes in and attempts to start an I.V. Right off the bat she blows my vein. She apologizes and tries again and blows another vein. I'm still cheery and happy and I don't complain b/c It's not her fault that I have deceitful veins. Another nurse comes in and guess what? Yep, the same thing happens. She decides not to give it another try and sends in some one else. Fortunately, the fourth time was the charm and I was really relieved. Having a "needle" that resembles a PVC pipe more than a needle repeatedly shoved into my veins just isn't my cup of tea. "You're such a happy and forgiving patient, I kind of wish my shift wasn't over." the nurse commented. Yeah, I'm betting she was glad she left after she heard what happened just a little while later.<br />
<br />
Dr. M showed up a little before seven, smile on his face, coffee in hand and cheery. He gave the kids an armload of cookies and snacks and began to discuss the process of induction with me. He checked me and I was dilated to three and a half, the same as I had been for two weeks. There was no change. He then broke my water and told me that he was going to go ahead and change into his scrubs because I went from 3 1/2 to 4 as soon as he broke my water. That was about five after seven.<br />
<br />
Breaking my water was just what I needed to jump start my labor. Contractions picked up a steady pace of every five minutes or so and I was comfortable for the fifty minutes or so. Around 10 till eight, I started to feel some pain with the contractions but it wasn't anything unbearable. It was just uncomfortable. The contractions started coming a little more quickly and about that time the nurse {nurse Leah}came in to check me. She said I was about 5 1/2 and asked me if I wanted to go ahead and get my epidural. I was all for that. I wanted a pain free labor and delivery and if I didn't have to feel any pain what-so-ever then I was all for that. <br />
<br />
Somewhere in between the above paragraph and the one below, our neighbor showed up to pick up the kiddos. Can I just say that I'm glad he wasn't late??<br />
<br />
Leah left the room to call anesthesia . As soon as she left the room, I had a pretty strong contraction. It wasn't just a little bit uncomfortable, it freakin' hurt! Leah was right back with a bag of fluid that I had to have before I could have the epidural. She said "Good news, epidural guy is on the way!". He actually arrived just a few minutes later. I had another contraction between the time she told me and when he actually came in the room. That contraction put me on my hands and knees and it was quickly followed by another that had me politely begging Leah to turn the Pitocin off. She told me that it was on the lowest dose possible and even if she did turn it off that it wouldn't slow my contractions or ease the pain. These contractions were now very strong and coming back to back, one right after another. <br />
<br />
I tried to leave. Literally. I told Leah that I just couldn't do this and that I needed to go home. That poor girl, I wonder if she woke up that morning and knew what was in store for her?? I knew that I was being irrational but I also knew that this much pain wasn't normal and labor pain usually gets worse, not better. I don' know what I was thinking. Maybe if I just got up and walked out of the LDR room I would magically be back in that Harding t-shirt and those big black shorts and my water would be unbroken and I would feel miserably pregnant, but not in pain, again.<br />
<br />
Epidural guy walked in during the middle of a contraction and he had to wait for it to be over in order for me to be able to sit on the side of the bed. <br />
<br />
I think this is where the screaming started. I sat on the side of the bed but quickly came up off my bottom because of the intensity of another contraction. Leah made me look her in the eyes and strongly urged me to let her check me, but I insisted and promised I would just as soon as epidural guy did his thing. I finally managed to sit on the side of the bed, holding on to Steven tighter than I've ever held on to anyone. Another contraction. It had me grasping on the rail and Steven, gritting my teeth and of course, screaming and begging for help. I actually bit Steven, twice. I was in serious panic mode. The pain wouldn't slow long enough for me to get a firm grasp on what was going on. I actually thought maybe I was dreaming. It was weird.<br />
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Epidural guy told me that I had to be still and not move if I wanted the epidural. I couldn't. The pain was so intense, I could not be still and definitely could not sit anywhere. I felt as if my pelvic bone were shattering and the pieces were stabbing me in places of my body that I didn't know existed. I yelled that I needed to push not knowing if I really did or not. It just seemed like it might be the thing to end this pain. I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement and apologized to Leah stating {through a firmly clenched jaw} that '<em>I was about to krap all over the place!' {I didn't}. </em>Apparently, Dani was crowning.<br />
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Crowning. Webster's dictionary has many definitions for the word 'crown'. Let me list a few of them real quick: a reward of victory or mark of honor, the top most part of the head or skull, a wreath, band or circular ornament for the head {good one!}, the summit of a mountain...the list goes on and on! I have my own definition of crowning that good ole Webster failed to list and that is: <em>'Crowning: Take a hefty, gold and jeweled up crown and try to insert it into the vagina by using a sledge hammer or foot. Make sure you have the pointy end facing the vagina and kick or hammer repeatedly until you've successfully jammed that thing in there, then jerk it out as quickly as you can.</em> That is my definition of crowning and if Mr. Webster knew anything about the word crowning, he would pay me lots of money to add that to the top of his list, cuz that, my friends is the truth!<br />
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This whole having a baby without pain meds was completely new to me. I had no idea what was going on. I looked at Leah, begging for help and she looked at me with sympathetic eyes and said the most horrible thing I had ever heard "Kimberly, it's too late for an epidural.". I begged and pleaded with him to just do it! I promised, in between screams and cries, that I would be still if he would just do it! He couldn't. I will never forget the overwhelming feeling of helplessness I felt as he left the room.<br />
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When he left, instinct kicked in and I knew what I had to do. Sitting on the side of the bed still holding on to Steven, I pushed. After I pushed, Leah talked me in to letting her check me. I semi sat back on the bed and let her. She pulled my gown up and confirmed what she already knew, Dani's head was clearly visible. I had another contraction which resulted in more screaming, begging, and pleading. I looked at Steven and he was as pale as a sheet and shaking furiously. We were both terrified and somehow that was comforting to me. I'm pretty sure Leah told me not to push. I pushed anyway.<br />
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Dr. M scurried in the room. In one sense, he looked like superman swooping in in his sea green scrubs and in another sense he looked like the green goblin {I know, I know, spider man - super man, whatever. This is my story.} He was going to deliver my baby and make this pain go away, but him being there confirmed that epidural guy was not coming back {I don't know why I still had hope, but obviously I did.}. I felt....defeated.<br />
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The first thing Dr. M said to me {as he was walking in the room} was "you need to breathe!" Yeah, dude I was actually trying that but the whole screaming whilst gritting my teeth trying to stop screaming was getting in the way of the whole breathing thing. Dr. M pulled up a stool to the side of my bed to assess the situation. There was no time to take my bed apart and pull out the stirrups or to turn the fancy bright lights on. He looked up at me and the second thing he said to me after I had already taken it upon myself to finish pushing her head out was that I needed to wait to push again so he could get her shoulders out -- yet another order that I took upon myself not to obey entirely. There was a baby hanging halfway out of my vagina. No thanks, I really prefer not to wait to expel that. I'm pretty sure that I did all this pushing with my eyes closed because I have absolutely no recollection of the sight of her actually being born. I gave a final push and opened my eyes to see a very shaken looking Dr. M and a very in awe Steven.<br />
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And then I looked down on the hospital bed at my daughter. In the mix of a lot of blood and guts lay my very perfectly pink - squealing like a tiny pig - daughter, all bright eyed and just as shocked as I was that she had entered this world so quickly. That moment. That moment is forever ingrained into my mind. What a beautiful sight she was! What a sheer blessing!<br />
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Baby nurse swooped her up and away she went for measurements and check ups and whatever else it is they do with newbies. Steven grabbed the camera and shoved the battery in it and rushed to be with Dani, per my request.<br />
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Dr. M and I hung out and did the whole after birth thing. Poor guy came at me with the umbilical needle and I reared my foot back and demanded to know what he was going to with that! I wouldn't really kick my o.b., would I??? Everything gets blurry after this. I remember a lot of blood and words like "hemorrhaging" and "lets get this bleeding under control". I felt week and dizzy and my vision was really sort of spotty...but that's not really worth going in to, or important.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI9T8lOGXDOScDSjp8tuuNoU550l_g9p2FBcbO3keajeGIXOXVY-HJZx3zade1esGvd66dB_efb62CZjj8LYhtjEQSrHnXdLYF3lI-zhsF0aI9pyatqKirwLjYeQjb7aLuSuEO0A0FuEnR/s1600/Dani%2527s+birthday+020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
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Somewhere along the way, someone handed my daughter to me. No words for this. Here's a picture instead. (:<br />
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Okay, so Dr. M left and Leah took back over. She had to check up on me every few minutes and what I mean by that is that she had to try her best to scrape the inside of my uterus out with her hand through my belly button. There was so much blood. I remember asking myself how could a human body bleed so much and still be conscious? That was the second time I asked myself about consciousness in the hour. Hm. Every time she did that {which was often} there was so much blood and pain. It was overwhelming. After a couple of doses of some sort of white pill and an hour or two later, the bleeding was under control. Oh, and she also gave me some pain medicine. When the pain medicine kicked in, she became my new super man. ;)<br />
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One more note, and then I'll wrap this thing up. I'm not exactly sure when it started, but shortly after Dani was born, I started shaking and couldn't stop. I actually got Steven to go and ask the nurse if it was normal and how to make it stop. Apparently, it is normal, but I hemorrhaged after Dom was born and don't remember shaking like that, but maybe I lost more blood with Dani. After two solid hours of shaking uncontrollably, it finally stopped. Almost, anyway. Every time poor Leah would walk thru the door, it would start again. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with loosing so much blood, but I also think a lot of it had to do with the trauma I had and I was obviously associating it with poor Leah. She really was an awesome nurse. I had planned to be an awesome patient...but I didn't plan for the circumstances to be as the were so...well, you know.<br />
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So, there It is! The story of our Dani girl! <br />
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We'll talk about the PPD in another post.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-59896212888209657642013-09-01T14:53:00.002-07:002013-09-01T14:53:33.792-07:00This dress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Eleven and a halfish years ago, I was standing in a little shop debating weather or not to spend forty bucks on this teeny tiny dress. I went back to that store three different times before deciding to take the hit and buy the dress.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjphg7dNzDlMgqjyAej-aKpU2xKN8WJLZ3qNZqCwpDKtxuAVXlB7jvECFIImhWiiwdZ9NRZMmc9UHG3MI7X2uSFCuT6WYBTsT891cpcgKUowZvBJqX10UsZl4rSjCBsvWFAl7KdjjFAKevK/s1600/devanbday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjphg7dNzDlMgqjyAej-aKpU2xKN8WJLZ3qNZqCwpDKtxuAVXlB7jvECFIImhWiiwdZ9NRZMmc9UHG3MI7X2uSFCuT6WYBTsT891cpcgKUowZvBJqX10UsZl4rSjCBsvWFAl7KdjjFAKevK/s320/devanbday.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Devan 2002</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Devan and Diamond 2008</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diamond and Dani 2013</td></tr>
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Eleven and a halfish years later, I'm glad I bought the dress!</div>
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Happy Sunday, Friends! (:</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-57954347038405366102013-08-09T17:59:00.002-07:002013-08-09T17:59:57.403-07:00Introducing...Our fourth D!<br />
<br />
Dani Kalifornia Ruby Rayne M arrived safe and sound on July 25th at 8:29 a.m. <br />
She weighed in at seven pounds and seven ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. We are so in love and blessed to be her parents!<br />
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Her birth story is on the way...It's just taking a little more time than expected (:<br />
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Happy Friday, Friends!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-78559111304413285862013-05-19T19:28:00.001-07:002013-05-19T19:28:30.553-07:00I'll take stream of conciousness for a zillion, Alex!Hello.<br />
<br />
I was just sitting here watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and right as Mer was having her emergency C-section, abc.com totally crashed on me. You wanna talk about a cliff hanger?!?!<br />
<br />
Wow.<br />
<br />
**********************************{changing the subject}<br />
<br />
We are almost at 32 weeks preggo! Only eightish more weeks until we get to hold that sweet, wrinkly, probably bald, bundle of joy in our arms! I am so excited! This pregnancy has been fantastic! A bump here and there, but by far, the easiest! Actually, just recently, like, yesterday I posted on Facebook that it was my first "completely miserable" day. Steven and I were busy cleaning out the basement and I just got too hot. Hot and pregnancy most certainly do not go hand in hand. It took hours, and ice, and many popcicles for me to feel comfortable again.<br />
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Dani related stuff: I am still craving olives and have added avocado to the list. Avacado. It's funny because, I sort of accidentally ate avocado the other day and sort of fell in love with it. And that's just weird because avocado is actually on the "foods that I absolutely hate" list....well, it was, anyway.<br />
<br />
We have a 4d ultrasound scheduled this coming Wednesday. I'm super excited about that! I just hope she cooperates and we get to get a glimpse of her sweet face! (:<br />
<br />
Also, she is the squiggly-ist little thing ever! She is usually calm and mellow until Steven gets home. Once he walks thru the door she just goes crazy! I think it's safe to say that she's a daddy's girl! And I'm okay with that {I think}.<br />
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***************************************<br />
<br />
The D's have three days of school left. It's hard to believe that this school year is ending! It seems it just started a week or two ago. It's crazy to think that in a few months we will have a new born, a kindergartner, a fourth grader, and a middle schooler! Wow!<br />
<br />
***********************************<br />
<br />
Oh, and let's not forget about our big move in twelve days! We think we have a house. So we kind of know where we are going...Pray for us, this move is mentally, physically, and most of all, emotionally exhausting.<br />
<br />
That's all, for now! Yall have a great week!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-44790581893368853812013-04-23T18:18:00.000-07:002013-04-23T18:18:06.602-07:00I'll have my cake and olives too!So, I was sitting on the couch last night, at like 10:30, eating scrumptious lemon cake and debating weather or not to go to the fridge and get some green olives to eat in between bites of cake. I decided that that would probably just give me terrible heartburn seeing as I how I intended to finish my cake and go straight to bed, so exercising self control, I didn't eat the olives. The very second I finished that thought, a terrible sadness washed over me. What the hell was I doing eating cake at 10:30? Didn't I know that that was of absolutely no nutritional value and that it was just going to make me fatter and fatter is unhappier??? So I went to bed sad...and full of cake, that was delicious.<br />
<br />
Like 10 minutes later, as I was laying in bed finishing up my prayer journal, it hit me. Just like that, a blissful moment of love smacked me in the face.<br />
<br />
Dude, I'm pregnant! Pregnancy, most of the time, leads to an infant and infants are precious, adorable, and quite fabulous! Were going to have a baby and that's freakin' awesome!!!<br />
<br />
I woke up early this morning. I felt ravenous so like the first thing I did was stick a slim fast in the freezer {cuz I like them all slushy}. My self control wouldn't let me wait any longer so I fixed my self a snack to have while I waited for my shake to freeze.<br />
<br />
Olives. Y'all, I ate like a cup of olives for breakfast! I totally would've eaten more, but sadly, I finished off the jar. Ooh, and I also had two flintstone vitamins, because, we all know how well vitamins taste with green olives. Yeah.<br />
<br />
After "breakfast" I got dressed in some garb and ventured outside and mowed the lawn. We don't have the luxury of a riding lawn mower, not even a self propelled lawn mower. So here I am seven months pregnant, sweating like a pregnant chick, feeling pretty gross and tired and generally cursing Steven for having a severe grass allergy, when some guy in a pick up drives by and literally stops right in front of our house and just stares. Like, a whole minute passes by before I finally {y'all, please remember that I'm a semi-crazy pregnant chick} yell to him "Well, are you going to mow this grass for me or are you just going to stare cuz dude, you're starting to freak me out?!". Do you know what he did? He just slowly drove away and totally rubber necked it the whole way down the road. Talk about freaking someone out! If I had the strength to pick up that lawn mower, I would have went all Super Man and thrown the friggin' thing at him. And like a few seconds later, I regretted my actions and was sorry and that made me sad. Being sad makes me angry and being angry makes me sad. Bleh. I guess it's a good thing pregnant women aren't blessed with super strength or any thing.<br />
<br />
I finished up the grass and went inside to have a nice relaxing shower that ended up not being so relaxing shower because, for some reason, every one in the world thought it would be a convenient time to call and ask me questions that very well could've been answered with a simple text. Seriously, answers like "yes" and "not yet" and "idk" were the only ones required. Grrr.<br />
<br />
After my shower, I managed to walk by the girl's disaster area that they call their room and that, was the last straw. I've been begging and pleading with them for the past forever to pick their stuff up. Seriously, it's been like a month. So, being the promise keeper that I am, I went into their room and bagged up everything on the floor and took it to our local thrift store. Oddly, that made me feel better.<br />
<br />
Feeling better made me want lunch. So, I ventured into the kitchen and made myself a feast of the rest of the lemon cake, jalapeno stuffed olives {the only ones left} and a slim fast. It was delicious and the heartburn, that's currently radiating my kneecaps because of it, was totally worth it!<br />
<br />
Despite my night and morning {which is basically the same everyday}, I can honestly say that I'm enjoying this pregnancy. My emotions are up and down, just like a roller coaster, which happens to be one of my favorite things ever! Steven, may have a different opinion, cuz he doesn't really like roller coasters at all!...Maybe he needs a prayer or two. Oh, and there's a baby at the end of this ride! (:<br />
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I guess I'll stop there. I'm out of things to say.<br />
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Woah, Wait! A real quick, an explanation of Dani's name.<br />
<br />
Her name is Dani Kalifornia Ruby Rayne. Dani Kalifornia because it's awesome {and we love us some RHCP!!!!}. Dani, not Danielle or anything it could be short for. It's adorable and I love it and it starts with a D. Kalifornia spelled with a 'K' because all of my kiddo's have a 'K' initial {Kimberly, Kenneth, Kyleigh, and Kalifornia}. Ruby, after Steven's grandmother and all of my kiddos have a stone in their name {Amber-Jade, Julius {close enough to a jewel}, Diamond, and Ruby}. Rayne, after Steven. His middle name is Ray. He was named for his grandfather, whose name was Raymond. He was obviously a great and wonderful man because his name has been put into practically all of the grand children {S. Ray, Rachel, L. Rae} and is now being incorporated into the great grand children {Diamond has Rae in her name, Railey, and Rayne}. It's fun and unique. Poor Dani's name took forever to figure out because nothing sounded or looked right. We debated Lee Ondreya, Meadow, Ava, Birdie, Shea, Kathleen, and Johannah, but they just didn't make the cut.<br />
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That's it! Happy Tuesday, Everyone! (:Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-90959973453213030132013-04-19T08:08:00.001-07:002013-04-19T08:08:30.165-07:00Cha-cha-cha-changesOh, Hello!<br />
<br />
It's been five or so months since I updated this little blog and a lot has changed! And by a lot, I mean a whole lot. I'm not going to give all of the details, because that might just take forever, but I'll give you the skinny.<br />
<br />
I guess the biggest change to our lives is our very much prayed for blessing, Dani, whom is due in mid July! That's right, were expecting number four, a baby girl, in 12ish weeks! What on earth will I change the name of this blog to???<br />
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We have also celebrated a couple of holidays.<br />
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<br />
...And birthdays<br />
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Diamond turned five!!!<br />
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And Dominick turned nine!!! It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Devan's ninth birthday!<br />
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One more thing and y'all will be all caught up! Were moving! Yep, as of June first-ish we will be official residents of Little Rock. I've briefly mentioned the mission trips that we have taken to Little Rock with the youth group, in the past. And well, one thing led to another and after lots of prayer we have decided, that what they have going on there is something that we want to be part of full time and not just every three months or so. Steven is trading in his suits, ties, and cuff links for jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes. He will be trading in his title of "youth minister" and "pulpit minister" to "full time student" and "urban minister in training". This will be a big change and require a lot of adjustments for our whole family {emotionally and financially} and I have been a little {or a lot} apprehensive about this whole ordeal. But after a lot of on-my-knees-bawling-my-eyes-out-panic-attack-desperately-trying-to-make-sense-of-what-on-earth-we-are-doing-Jehovah-please-help-me-praying, I've decided to let Jehovah take over and drive and oddly, I feel pretty good about our decision! :0)<br />
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<br />
So, that's everything {in a nut shell}! If you guys could keep us in your prayers as we start a new chapter {well, book, really} in our lives, it would be greatly appreciated!<br />
<br />
Happy Friday!!!!<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-74138267312849325952012-11-02T21:44:00.001-07:002012-11-02T21:44:21.929-07:00A Halloween postHalloween was a <i>Hoot </i>this year! <br />
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Literally.<br />
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Ahem, anyway. I made this costume for Big D. As I was making it I thought about doing a DIY tutorial...but I changed my mind. I felt like I was cheating anyway. I put the whole thing together using a hot glue gun. Haha! I love Halloween! It's really the only time I could ever brag about making my kids "clothes" using hot glue! I got this idea from Pinterest. My cousin introduced me to pintrest about a week before Halloween and I have to say, she was right, my life is forever changed! <br />
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I took an old Hogs t-shirt and cut the long sleeves off of it. I drew the pattern for the "feathers" and then had an army of family and kids to help me trace them individually on the fabric and cut, and cut and cut! After the fabric was cut I hot glued the "feathers" one big long spool of ribbon...two or three spools of ribbon, actually. After I had the feathers glued to the ribbon I glued the ribbon to the shirt in layers. This part was a bit tricky believe it or not. I had to make sure that the feathers lined up just so because if I didn't that big ole maroon shirt would just shine right through! The mask was a bit tricky and the pattern had to be tweaked several times. 16 long hours later, the picture above was the finished product. I was pretty pleased. (:<br />
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Little d's costume was really easy. For like, ever she insisted on being Snow White. I was totally cool with that but, while I was looking at costumes on pinterest she fell in love with the little lambs and insisted that she be one, too! The most expensive thing about her costume was the 6 bucks I invested in cotton balls. How many cotton balls does it take to make a four year old child sized lamb?? I'm glad you asked! It takes 400 to be exact! How much hot glue does it take to glue 400 cotton balls to a t-shirt?? Um, at least 30! Yikes! Felt ears and a little felt tail and Viola! A little lamb! <br />
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Middle D's costume was my favorite! It was so much fun and super easy to make! Well, I say super easy because I had a very small part in making it! Ha! I found the idea, and helped shop for materials and .....hot glued (you got it) felt here and there!<br />
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His "head was made with a canister tupperware. Steven cut holes in the front where the eyes and mouth go, spray painted it yellow and drew the face. I hot glued an elastic strap and some padding on the inside of the top so that it would stay on and in place when he wore it. The body part was made from my steam cleaner box. Steven spray painted it with glossy paint, so that it would look like plastic and he drew the outline of the suit and stuff. The tie and belt were cut from an old gift bag. His hands were from that left over card board stuff that carpet comes on. They were also spray painted and then lined with yellow felt handles for him to hold on to. It only took about 3 hours to make MD the "coolest kid on the block<i>" *pun intended* </i><br />
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Oh, and a little bitter-sweet note. This year marked ld's first Halloween party and BD's last Halloween party.<br />
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That's all for now! Hope y'all had a craftastic Halloween, too!<br />
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Happy Friday, Everyone!!! <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-13075047076805514372012-11-01T20:49:00.002-07:002012-11-01T20:49:42.501-07:00Shall we discuss football?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, football. Yeah.<br />
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When this season started (first for us), I only knew a handful of things about football. Literally, like, five.<br />
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1. Football season is in the fall.<br />
2. A touch down is worth 6 points.<br />
3. Football requires a lot of work.<br />
4. Football players have shiny, padded pants, and they're my favorite!<br />
5. ....just kidding about the fifth one...I really only knew four. ;)<br />
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Anyway, August rolled around and we got the phone call (or maybe it was a text) that started the season off. We were instructed to go to the place where the equipment was kept and pick up our necessary things. Steven took Big D to pick up her gear and I took Middle D...three trips and a pant swap later and we were ready to do this!<br />
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Our first practice was on the hottest day of the year. Temperatures were well in to the 100's and I was sweating my shorts off just sitting out side watching them. The first practice was all about stretching, physical work outs, and stretching while wearing a helmet. That was a Monday. Practice lasted from 6 p.m. to right around 9 p.m.! I was very shocked to find out that this was "normal" and that every practice would last this long! We did this every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday for nine, very long and exhausting weeks!<br />
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<br />The first game was a home game. My kids played a whole 5 minutes combined! I was so disappointed! They worked so hard for so long and they barely go to play! That day, we decided, that if the next game was like that, that we would be good ole quitters! Were all about some team spirit and all...but seriously??<br />
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Their next game was like a two hour drive and I was really hesitant about taking them but I am so glad that I did! They played a lot more than they did at the first one! And it just got better and better as the season went along.<br />
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I'll be the first to admit that, for a while, Big D and I literally hated going to practice! The boys on her team treated her like she didn't belong and for the most part acted like she didn't exist. She cried big alligator tears on more than one occasion because she was so frustrated (and probably exhausted). She begged to quit (though she didn't really want to, she just wanted acceptance). She was lonely and I was sad. Steven "made" us keep on truckin' and I'm so glad he did. We ended up loving it and the boys eventually starting treating her like a valuable-ish team member.<br />
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Middle D, on the other hand, loved football from the start! He loved being a line backer and he was really good at it! He played a lot of defense and a little bit of offense. He didn't like being offense because he "couldn't wrap them up and tackle them". He could only "push them really hard" and it just wasn't his thing. (: At the games, his name was called over that speaker just about every play he played in. He was serious about being serious!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey, guys. I promise to behave my eight year old impulsive self to the best of my ability. Yeah, we'll be all sportsman like and have good conduct or whatever. And by the way, we call tails as in were gonna kick your tails. What? that's not sportsman conduct? Oh, well, I promise to start over, right now...but we still call tails!"</td></tr>
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<br />They all in all had a really fun time with football. They really loved the parade's they got to participate in and Big D loved the idea of her jersey. They don't tell you exactly how hard you have to work for that jersey. But seriously, it's hard work.<br />
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Friday's were always looked forward to because they got to wear their jerseys to school.<br />
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So, five more things I learned about football.<br />
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1. Football Mama's are in a category of their own. They rock bedazzled t-shirts and matching cow bells!<br />
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2. The position "safety" is the team's "last hope" and "line backer" is someone who is very aggressive and tackles people (i think)...at least my line backer was/is.<br />
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3. Football players do not get to eat dinner until after 9 p.m. because if they eat before practice, they will surely vomit on the practice field and all over their jerseys and helmets and shoes .... so anyway they and their families don't eat till very late.<br />
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4. Most football Mama's are on the healthier side because they're like me and don't want to leave their child's side, while at practice, just in case something happens. And maybe they're evolving nice, round, cushy bottoms to better accommodate themselves while sitting on those cold, hard bleachers for what seems like weeks on end!<br />
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5. Football is hard work. It takes lots of support from the whole family in order for the season to run smoothly. It is an amazing experience and I am so glad Big D and Middle D got to experience it!<br />
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More to come!<br />
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Happy Thursday, Everyone!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-91295548763475003952012-09-04T11:30:00.001-07:002012-09-04T11:30:10.270-07:00This summer sucked!I say that atleast once a day.<br />
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This summer sucked so bad I thought I'd blog about just how much it sucked.<br />
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But after sorting through a slew of pictures.<br />
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I decided that maybe, just maybe, I was wrong.<br />
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Because I have absolutely no proof what so ever of a sucky summer.<br />
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Happy September, Everyone!!! (: </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-65746035470351320802012-07-01T17:25:00.001-07:002012-07-01T17:26:19.368-07:00When I grow up<div>
When I was in kindergarden my teacher let us all take turns standing up and telling the rest of the class what we were going to be when we grew up. I waited patiently as I heard children around me declare "nurse", "mommy", "fireman", and "army man". I was super excited when it was my turn. I stood tall and proud and announced that I would grow up to be a strawberry ice cream cone! <br />
Well, long story short, Mrs. Henson quickly shot me down and said that "growing up to be food wasn't possible". I guess she was sort of right. But what about cannibals? They eat humans! Aligators and other wild animals eat humans! Anyway, she hurt my feelings and embarassed me and everytime I think about strawberry ice cream cones, I think of her. I'm not mad and my feelings aren't hurt anymore. But they do make me think of her.<br />
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We were riding in the car the other day and Diamond and I had a little conversation that went something like this:<br />
Ld: "Mommy, did you know that when you grow up, you can be anything you want?"<br />
Me: "Yes, Diamond. What are you going to be?"<br />
Ld: "A unicorn!"<br />
Me: "A unicorn?"<br />
Ld: "Yes! A pink unicorn with rainbows all over me! And I'm going to have a red horn!"<br />
....<br />
Guess what? I've always wanted a unicorn! And when Diamond grows up she's going to college to be a unicorn! Yippe! ;)<br />
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Take that Mrs. Henson! =P</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-9726262874939364622012-06-20T06:19:00.000-07:002012-06-20T06:19:59.759-07:00ROO<br />
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I absolutely cannot believe that this girl is an entire DECADE old!<br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" src="http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/556068_3723637102078_1446004110_n.jpg" style="height: 565px; width: 377px;" /><br />
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I can't believe you're ten! Not just one whole hand but two! Girl, you're out of fingers! WOW! I love you, baby girl! I pray that you are always as sweet, smart, beautiful and dedicated to the Lord's work as you are now! Happy First Decade, Devaroo!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4676685370790474818.post-83499793071557246092012-06-16T23:26:00.002-07:002012-06-16T23:28:05.329-07:00...in six months we....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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went to Georgia as a whole family, to visit family...<br />
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had family from Georgia come and visit us....<br />
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went to Little Rock Childrens hospital for a pre-op visit, an op visit and a post-op visit...<br />
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celebrated a holiday....<br />
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or two...<br />
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did some mission work<br />
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celebrated a birthday...<br />
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or two....<br />
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or three...<br />
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grounded the boy for three months for--long story short, lying a WHOLE bunch...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPi3kyGKsUjCdxkguJSahQANS5FFZAKinrBVBd4Guk7g0R4DDExPNIxeK29I70uHWyhgGlW9xJI0sLeqFJ78uEYZ_KNw0uRjDfahH61Cx1PS8dqEX4sR9bxmRJwoz_oAisvGrvDjlmJDd/s1600/Dom%2540soccerfield+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPi3kyGKsUjCdxkguJSahQANS5FFZAKinrBVBd4Guk7g0R4DDExPNIxeK29I70uHWyhgGlW9xJI0sLeqFJ78uEYZ_KNw0uRjDfahH61Cx1PS8dqEX4sR9bxmRJwoz_oAisvGrvDjlmJDd/s640/Dom%2540soccerfield+003.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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survived a first season of basketball...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghybc-4VgHgT_2j1MLL63Lv1cpEjP7UlwNdr4id9Kll8rk_c215ZtmC6yftBPJo5NHoK4jtaB63-57q5K4WY77MLkMMPfoSq_cuF42cVrl-JZD-jGLjB5Cl_R-d8oEbmdXgBWKE7IBhRk1/s1600/basketballwinners+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghybc-4VgHgT_2j1MLL63Lv1cpEjP7UlwNdr4id9Kll8rk_c215ZtmC6yftBPJo5NHoK4jtaB63-57q5K4WY77MLkMMPfoSq_cuF42cVrl-JZD-jGLjB5Cl_R-d8oEbmdXgBWKE7IBhRk1/s640/basketballwinners+015.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp_Bbn0VwI5455TKSKqdHkePfj7esA40Ul45aC_MsP1DBGuEiuczLBzdMpKfhE2xsTzrWTrdlGWMzIwaU0hoygygxY3_EJwAhbtYQmZwM2hKTR6_TX3ud4t7YaynNoHS3S-gZimOThOuaZ/s1600/basketballwinners+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp_Bbn0VwI5455TKSKqdHkePfj7esA40Ul45aC_MsP1DBGuEiuczLBzdMpKfhE2xsTzrWTrdlGWMzIwaU0hoygygxY3_EJwAhbtYQmZwM2hKTR6_TX3ud4t7YaynNoHS3S-gZimOThOuaZ/s640/basketballwinners+003.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />
and another whole season of soccer....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNM7EaywRHVOTN0QrT13ZJRXmaGJjVyVrQ2GD5jqEP7zSHBeEAYYh-ZxWxBeotg912D6UiIr_v5jKRhL2WK1eiOMYbgdd56b5t3IAXmxdEdHRbJImjCjy5cx7iLFUbJKL7pEzvvkxU7VAz/s1600/soccergames+013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNM7EaywRHVOTN0QrT13ZJRXmaGJjVyVrQ2GD5jqEP7zSHBeEAYYh-ZxWxBeotg912D6UiIr_v5jKRhL2WK1eiOMYbgdd56b5t3IAXmxdEdHRbJImjCjy5cx7iLFUbJKL7pEzvvkxU7VAz/s640/soccergames+013.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />
and a few other things....<br />
<br />
like first field trips...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBQaD8vRTN2vM8N9-1C-QU27izBP9W0jRnK9HMolyZbMW_-TR0rdb_gTlAMR8WLD_aD5JTFA5RTWXuqW-fx8924vT3wV-TYslv5F7wqleSVZW3tZhBMLpkoe44MDLn-PC4QFnl2CGI_854/s1600/FIELDTRIP+064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBQaD8vRTN2vM8N9-1C-QU27izBP9W0jRnK9HMolyZbMW_-TR0rdb_gTlAMR8WLD_aD5JTFA5RTWXuqW-fx8924vT3wV-TYslv5F7wqleSVZW3tZhBMLpkoe44MDLn-PC4QFnl2CGI_854/s640/FIELDTRIP+064.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
After a seven month long break from my blog, I've decided to pick it back up. Who knows how long I'll do it for, maybe another two years and maybe only two months. I'll do it as long as I'm happy with it. Our life is awesome and fun(ny) and rather interesting, to me. So, we'll see...Knowing me, who knows?!<br />
<br />
Happy Today, Tomorrow, and the past seven months Everyone!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03598894670792266442noreply@blogger.com1